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Alter Boys
The inside says, ”May your alter boys be bent down, lubed up, and mute. Merry Christmas.” We’ve ALL got a little pedophile in us, especially alter boys.
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Baby Booties
The inside says, ”Pull out next time” Offer this card as congratulations, condolences, or a warning to that slutty niece of yours, whatever the case may be. They’ll get a great card and a valuable...
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Baby Mobile
The inside says, ”The boobies, for one thing” Don’t worry, fathers-to-be! We know, you noticed what a violent harpie the woman carrying your demon seed has turned into. And we know you’re not looking forward...
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Bethlehem
The inside says, ”Far away from me” I despise religious email. No matter how many forwards I ignore, they keep sending me more. What ever happened to the “junk” folder working in my email account?...
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Better You Than Me
Don’t coddle them, or they’ll just come back for more.The inside says, ”Sucks to be you”
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Birthday Cat
The inside says, ”I would have brought you something, but I hate you.” Don’t be fooled, that is the most evil cat in the world.
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Bitch Fest
The inside says, ”We’re all going to dress up, lie about our accomplishments, then bitch about the person that leaves the room first!” This is our first invitation that also has the spaces for the...
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Bitch Slap Breakup
The inside says, ”You’ve just wasted your life, that’s all.” Sometimes humor is the only thing you can offer someone that’s just had their heart stomped on. And if they can’t laugh at their own...
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Cheap Bastard
The inside says, ”I want you to remember this moment the next time you get me some cheap shit.” Isn’t there always one person at a dinner party that only has money for their food,...
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Circle of Life
The inside says, ”One down, four to go” We know the title of this card is “Circle of Life,” although there is no circle. It’s more like a pyramid. A glorious monument to symbolize your...
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Creepy
Hitler doesn’t do such a bang up job as decoration, but maybe he can make a good comparison to the new parents. The inside says, ”Not as creepy as you having a kid”
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Dreidel This
The inside says, ”Don’t worry. He’ll make a fortune as her divorce lawyer. Happy Chanukah” Remember those days back when you were a little Jewish kid? Me neither. I was the uber-German blonde girl in...
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Fuck Yourself Invite
The inside says, ”But you’re not invited. Just wanted to tell you to go fuck yourself.” Here we go again with that multi-tasking thing. Use it as a real invitation, or just to brighten someone’s...
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Future Mass Murderer
The inside of this card is blank. That way, you can use it for whatever your heart desires. Perhaps a nice glimpse into the future for your sister and her demon child. Or a simple...
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Graduating Kitty
The inside says, ”Just in time to move back home.” Personally, we see nothing wrong in moving home. Let the mooching continue!
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Make A Wish
This card gives threesomes whole new meaning. The inside says, ”May all your wishes come true. Happy Birthday.”
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Meat Eater
The inside says, ”No body. No proof. No crime” The secret is in the sauce.
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
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Mouse Crush
The inside says, ”And if I can’t have you, I’ll kill you.” Show that special someone you won’t be ignored. You WON’T.
$ 3.00 - $ 20.00
